Missing the African Night Sky

I couldn’t wait to come back to the place I call home. But once I got here it was for all the wrong materialistic reasons. Now all I can think of is how can I get back. How can I continue my journey Educo taught me? How do I go deeper into learning social justice? Can I learn it here in America? As much as I have a hard time processing how they preach peace and love I want to learn why and how they do so. Right now America is filled with hurt and hate. No one accepts the blame of oppression of many groups of people of color. And it seems history is repeating itself but with a new group of people of color to oppress. How can I become more of a leader to push forward the social justice movement? In the hostel in Cape Town my room was the Steve Biko room. Today December 18th Stephen Bantu Biko was the background for the Google search engine. He was an anti-apartheid activist in South Africa in the 1960s and 1970s, until his death while in police custody. I think this is a sign of become a activist!

Out of all the things we learned and experienced only one lingers on my mind. One of the first things I did in Africa was look up to the sky and think who am I. Where do I come from. Of course I will never know because of Slavery and shitty people. But I know in my heart somewhere in my family history I have roots in Africa. I do not know if its South Africa but I never felt more at home in my life even in the place I call home. Even in the place that I put as my home on all legal documents. A weird thing happened to me in the wilderness. Night one I looked up into the stays wanting to see history in the stars. I wanted to go back in time and see what can’t be seen which is the erased part of history. Again I thought to myself who am I? Where do I come from? Of course I’m thinking of the movie roots and how Kunta Kinte communicated through the stars. Night two I wake up in the middle of the night and see a man who I thought was my instructor sitting crisscross applesauce a few feet away from where I was sleeping. I saw another person walking away with a dim light. They were talking pretty loud yet I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I thought it was weird that in the middle of the night they are talking like no one is sleeping and that Lerato is sitting by my sleeping bag. But I roll over look up at the stars and feel back asleep. I know I wasn’t sleeping because I was awake at least 15 more minutes before I could fall back asleep.

The next morning, I ask Lerato why were you up sitting a few feet away from the bottom of my sleeping bag. He said he was asleep the whole night. I looked at him and told him to stop joking. But he was serious he was sleeping the entire night. Who did I see? Was it my imagination? He saw the truth in my eye that I saw someone and that I was not dreaming. He said that it was my ancestors coming to me. Could it really have been?

I tell this story because I want to know more about who I am. Out of all the amazing experiences I had in South Africa and the lessons that I learned, I continue to sit at home and think of that night and what I saw. Is it possible? Who truly believes me? What happened to my family? It’s a heavy feeling. I am trying to figure out what’s the best way I can retrace my roots. I want to know about the culture I came from because seeing the culture and how the different communities support their community is amazing. I want to know how I can incorporate that into my life. I need to know where I come from. Maybe once I find out I can move forward in learning peace and love. How to become a great leader.

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